A Passing Thought

I found a lovely poem today by Walt Whitman in Leaves of Grass that I would appreciate being read whenever I pass out of this life.

The Last Invocation

At the last, tenderly,
From the walls of the powerful fortress'd house,
From the clasp of the knitted locks, from the keep of the well-closed doors,
Let me be wafted.

Let me glide noiselessly forth;
With the key of softness unlock the locks-- with a whisper,
Set ope the doors O soul.

Tenderly-- be not impatient,
(Strong is your hold O mortal flesh,
Strong is your hold O love.)


Five Pictures From New York

lovely, lovely days ahead

Oh, job fair! I went to one yesterday and it was the PITS. Maybe something good will come of it. I know I need a job lined up for when I graduate in less than two months. I know the Lord has something for me. What I do not know is what it will be and what I will need to do to receive it.

Is it too dreamy to ask for a simple job that will work for me and what I want to do? I want a 9-5 that will facilate my higher goals for the next 1-2 years. I want this time to be an intense time of educating myself, throughout which I will stick to an intense, extensive reading list. If at all possible, I would like to have a job that will further my understanding of schools and the education system, i.e. teaching. But that is not my biggest goal right now. 

While at  university, I've learned so much and so very little. I've been introduced to many big names, big ideas, big questions.  That is all a bachelor's degree is for, especially in the humanities: introductions. Now in a crowded room I could tell Kant from Hume. We've met. But still I do not know their hearts. I do not know their depths. 

So before grad school, before career, before marraige and babies there is only right now, there is only my pursuit of God, pursuit of wisdom, enjoyment of my love, my life, and the clouds I sleep upon at night. Sprinkle my sidewalks with petals. I am in no hurry to be impressive. All I want to do is love and learn. 


Twenty Two

LaGuardia Airport, Thursday, 1 pm ET

I've never written a blog in an airport before. Hooray! 

Tomorrow is my 22nd birthday. I don't really have any plans. I think it would be nice to spend some time reading outside. On Saturday my roommates and I might do something and then on Sunday I'll go home to Cleburne for some birthday action, too. 

Anyway. So. Have I grown in the last year? Yes. I have. In some ways I've proved myself, in some I've failed. I think my soul has grown some. In the last year:

@ I've thrown dinner parties and learned how to be a more gracious hostess, especially by oberving some of my favorite hostesses, K. Ruse and D.Kappellman. 

@I picked up a new hobby, yoga, and went on a new adventure, Michigan.

@I learned how to speak a little more clearly to one of my heroes, Dr. Naugle.

@I allowed myself to be vulnerable and tell my story to a table full of friends and colleagues. 

@I saw the last of my tuition at DBU be paid off.

@I came up with an original idea, or two. Yes!!!

@I grew super irritable and saw how irrational I can be. Meh. 

@I suffered a tragic loss when my peace lilly died, and got over it. :)

There are many things I could list. Still, there are many more intangible things that I couldn't-- and those are the most important. Those moments that are so awesome that the awe seems to come from a mysterious, veiled place-- those are the best, and although I cannot write them all down or even know them all anymore, I know they happened. I know, somehow, I've grown. 22.

(Ooh, something cool Mitch and I saw yesterday in Times Square is that the 2009 ball is still there. I didn't know that the ball stays in place all year. Cool!)


Starbucks, Astor Place, Tuesay

I would like to write a new post, but I think we are about to leave this Starbucks and go to China town. ALL IS going very well. Last night we had a blast splitting a pizza and some beers at Roberta's in Brooklyn. We let our imaginations paint fantastical dreams we typically do not voice. I am still on celebrity watch. No sightings yet, unless you count being at the Today show this morning. Meh. 

I think some very important car is about to go by. NO! omg a parade!!!!!!!! WHAT!??!

WOW. I just saw a parade of thousands of tibetans protesting China's involvement in their country and the genocide there. Pictures to come.



Quick update on my status.

Once again I would like to say that this blog has always been quite personal, meant for the enjoyment of myself and my friends and I do not claim to be an authority on anything, other than myself. Let us look at the evolution of the word "blog." What does it  come from? Web log, of course. We all know that. Now, where does "log" come from? I do not know. BUT (see, I told you I am no expert) I do know that people, especially men, have kept logs of their activity for a very long time. Seamen used to do it. Maybe they still do. Anyway, since my first xanga (or was it livejournal? no. xanga) the intent has always been to record what is going on in life, for my own personal record, and to share these events and ideas with my friends. I just do not want to be grouped with my peers who have blogs so that they can have some sort of e-authority. Not me. 

Anyway, I am just taking a short mental break from working on my thesis. This morning I completed the introduction. I am about to draft the next section, a brief introduction to the history of Utopic writing. 

Oh, and I am in Waco right now, at Common Grounds,

Also, the Paideaia Conference has come and gone and it was completely wonderful. Plus, Mitch and I caught a show with the Ruse's in Austin. We saw Conspirare perform Rachmaninoff's Vespers. Perfection.

- June.