There is one little girl in my preschool class who is always a delight. She makes me laugh so much, without ever trying to be funny. Her hand never rises to strike another child. Today when she woke up from her nap she just walked up to me, looked into my face and then gave me a big hug around my middle. She runs with her hands flying behind her. Yesterday, she played at being an especially fierce tiger. Her little black face transformed into the wild visage of the most terrible jungle animal, and her usually meek voice roared loud! She bared her tiny white teeth, and as she struggled to keep the smile off her face, she gave me a scary growl and said, "I'll get you Miss Sara! I'm a tiger!" That makes me love my job.


Saturday Night

Silence has found me
My best friends are gone
My lover has gone
Will be gone for a long time
Take me back to
togetherness, little thoughts.
Take me back to
noises and voices.

Silence has found me
My tears are finished
My day's list is finished
The finished autumn resigns
Take me back to
lightly cool days, linked arms
Take me back to
noises and voices

I will not assuage the sting
Silence, this loneliness
Does a soul good.
Gives depth to the artist
Is the paint of masters
I will embrace it
linger in the silence
My thoughts will form
excellent noise.
My poetry will sound
a familiar voice.

Silence has found me
The day feels new
The world feels new
Awake, I arise anew and resilient
Take me forward to
creating, pursuing wisdom.
Take me forward to
noises and voices.


Saturday Morning

Antidote for Lonliness

To survive being alone,
make in yourself a home.

Be your own best friend.
Work toward good ends.

Do what you love most.
In that, be engrossed.

Friends will always roam,
make in yourself a home.

What has happened in the last twenty-four hours? So much. Mitch graduated and I met his very nice family at the ceremony. We ate lunch and helped Mitch pack his stuff up into a U-Haul that was waiting. Mitch and I said a brief goodbye in the December drizzle and he summed up this next season in our lives by saying, "I'll call you." We are back to long-distance. I can hardly believe this beautiful little season in our lives of being in the same town is over.
The bare facts are that I do not like it because I already miss him terribly with a sense of foreboding of the many, many days of missing him that are to come. Yet, it is good, because I need more time to grow as a person by myself. It's back to the independence I had in Burnet, but in the big D. And back to that absence which (hopefully!) makes the heart grow fonder.
After we said goodbye I went to work and since my boss is so motherly I couldn't help but to cry on her shoulder for a few minutes. Mothers always bring out my tears. I wished my mom was closer. I'm really glad I went to work because as crazy as some of those little devils are, they are mostly all sweet and fun to be with.
After work I was devastated to not complete my normal routine of rushing straight over to Mitch's, running down the sidewalk, and knocking on his door to see his little head peer around the corner. Instead I went to my apartment, which has suffered changes, too. Sarah's stuff is all moved to the back bedroom. I will miss being her roommate, a bit. Alyssa's stuff was all packed up so she could leave in the morning. Sitting alone in my room, I let the full weight of all of these changes hit me and finally let all of this sad-ness manifest itself into many tears. It is good to cry it all out at once, than to let them trickle out of sad eyes occasionally, for a long time. Mal called and talked me through it.
When I got it together, I started cleaning up my end-of-semester piles of clothing, made a small dinner, and watched parts of two movies on TV. Alyssa came home and I fell asleep while she was finishing Gladiator. This morning I woke up and she was almost out the door. We said goodbye. She is off to her big adventure. Sarah starts the adventure of being married if a few months. I am starting another big adventure, too, I suppose.


Friday Night

I already miss everything about this semester.


I'm done with the semesterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


Happy December

- I got a library card to the DALLAS PUBLIC LIBRARY!!!
- I am the "nice teacher" at La Petite. Dang.
- Mitch graduates soon, soon, soon.
- I will not pursue a math minor.
- I love my roommates.
- Mitch and Sara's Fall 2007 Crunch Week ALL-NIGHTER was a success.
- Summer moves to New York next week.

Also, I don't think that "the more the merrier" is true for every circumstance, or even very many. Sounds commercial.