small, smaller than my own
and cool, your afternoon well spent waiting
(my palm against you)
what had you to do anyway?
and i tip you toward me waiting, wanting
will you rush at me too warm?
have you turned cold?
my mouth meets the firmness of yours
you are fresh and reposed
so many feelings rush at me
your familiar sweetness
the thickness of your taste
the startling cold, unexpected greeting
and your powerful warmness
awake(!), enough to pull me up
** The undertow is a delightful concoction enjoyed at the Starbucks at Central Texas Marketplace. There are variations of it elsewhere in coffee shops across the world but as far as I know this particular one originated here. Created by a friendly yet aloof male barista, it is a layered espresso shot. The first layer is shot of syrup (mine is SF Vanilla), the second layer is a hint of cold milk, and it is topped by a fresh shot of espresso. Delicious and effective, it became a staple for many a secret service agent stopping in on his or her way to the President's ranch in nearby Crawford.
Here is someone else's post about the undertow. Just do a search for them and it will return reviews from all over the country.
One more thing. While we're on this topic. I find that this drink articulately describes a feeling I have quite often. Yes, sorry, an existential feeling. (See my sentences get choppier as I try to avoid Dear Diary-ing). I just feel like my everyday is caught in an undertow. With all I am I am desiring and creating who I am and what I want to do. Still, I feel powerless to actually propel myself into actualizing those desires. My books remain unread, letters do not write themselves, and schools cannot accept me without my applying to them.
I don't feel like I'm just treading water I'm swimming, pushing forward, but progress is so indiscernible. This week I accomplished one big push in turning in an application to a great school at which I would love to teach. By this time next week, I will accomplish one more great step in regards to graduate school. Little by little. Building my Rome.
Any push I do have. That is from the Lord.